Questions: steps to continuous conversion

There are so many experiences in one week that strengthen my testimony of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that even when I do not want to believe, I end up with the sweetest witness. Sometimes I ask myself why am I so much like Laman and Lemuel? why do I ask the Lord over and over again for proof that he loves me when I am not even willing to do the same? why is it so hard for me to trust in the same man who came down, lowered himself in the depths of it all just to rescue such an ungrateful soul as mine? So many questions I ask myself as I try to find strength again to live the gospel of Jesus Christ as it was meant to be lived: simply. I need to remind myself constantly of his atonement sacrifice; the greatest proof of God's love for each and everyone of us on this earth. Why do I make discipleship so hard? Could it be because I focus so much on me: the natural man? Why do I thirst so much after sin and not righteousness? I needed answers, I needed comfort so I turned to the Book of Mormon to one of the scriptures we often ignore when we ask people to pray about the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon. I turned to Moroni 10 verse 3. It reads: ''Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.'' I found it quite interesting that we are asked to remember how merciful the Lord has been and is unto us. I am always quick to forget that when I am faced with trials but now I will change that. I will no longer bribe or reproach the Lord. No matter what my life circumstances are, I will always remember that Heavenly Father will never stop loving me. In the end, all the incentives I need to keep the commandments are his love for me and my love for him.