I can't on my own...

This week was definitely a week in which I witness the love of God more than I ever noticed before.  I decided to cry to him more often instead of relying on the arm of the flesh. Each day, as I find myself praying, asking him to take the wheel, my responsibilities sure did not disappear but my attitude about them changed. All of that is due to Alma 7:33 which says " But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage." There are some verbs I thought were interesting: turn, put, and serve, things that we are in control of and can do with our own will; and then the Lord will deliver us. How interesting is our relationship with Heavenly Father! He wants us to be spiritually mature and does not want to spoon feed us. He expects us to use our agency or will to seek his help and since he knows what is better for us he will succor us and help us with everything we need. I also realized that bondage was not necessarily limited to things that can prevent us from progressing but also meant infirmities, weakness, pain, suffering, and any other unfair circumstance that we may find ourselves in. And of course everything goes back to his atoning sacrifice. All of that help is possible through his perfect son who is our savior, friend, brother, helper, and even our spiritual father. I am so grateful for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ through which the Book of Mormon can help me understand each and everyday how I can turn to the atonement of Jesus Christ to find peace, healing, comfort but most importantly I am grateful that the atonement of Jesus Christ can be apply to all facet of  our lives.

" What Desirest Thou?"

There are a lot of things that happen in my life or a lot of situations I find myself in that are beyond my control. However, as I carefully examine each part of those situations afterwards, I always seem to realize that self control could have helped me avoid these situations... or perhaps building a stronger foundation on the gospel of Jesus Christ could have made a big difference in how I acted or reacted when faced with these situations. This week, I definitely fell short of the grace and love of God, or so I think. I ran into many situations in which I thought that my only answer was to lie, be dishonest, judge others, and succumb to carnal desires. I denied myself so many times of the opportunity to allow the spirit to abide with me, guide me, warn me of danger and protect me. I distanced myself from the love of God. There were definitely moments of happiness during my week but it was only superficial. When I found myself alone, I felt miserable that I had made so many poor choices and thought that repentance could never help However, as I read the scriptures, everything changed. 1 Nephi 11 verse 2 pierced my soul like it never did before. it says: '' And the Spirit said unto me: Behold, what desirest thou?'' I thought about what I most wanted. What I most want right ow is to make my Father in Heaven happy by following all of his commandments. I desired happiness and the least amount of regrets possible. I desire the abundance of his spirit . I desire all good things. Thinking about what I desire help me to understand how I need to live my life everyday so that I may accomplish my goals. I am deciding now that I want to do the Lord's will and I know he will help me stay true to my decision and better resist temptations. Knowing what I want truly makes living the gospel of Jesus Christ easier.

Jesus Christ: Savior and Healer!

   I find it ironic that every time that I prepare to teach a lesson, I am the one who end up getting more out of it. This week, my visiting teaching companion and I visited one of our dear sisters. We got to her place, ready to teach her the lesson of the month which was about the atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. After reading the article, my companion  turned to the sister we were visiting and asked : When in your life do you feel the love of God the most? She answered and said when she has meaningful prayer. As she answered, i pondered that same question. When do I feel the love of God the most? I feel the Love of God the most, when I need to forgive other people. This past few months especially, I had to deal with a lot of injustices and heartbreaks. I did not know whether to be mad, sad, depressed or just forget about it all. I could not see myself move on from all the hurt. As my circumstance and tried to put myself in the shoes of those who wronged me, I realized that the only way to deal with the pain was to forgive. The only way to move on was to try to be like my Savior Jesus Christ and forgive. The only way to heal was to give the burden to whom it correspond, my Savior Jesus Christ: the healer. After all, everything I go through is to help me understand a little bit of the pain he went through to be able to succor me today from all life's troubles.  I love the atonement of Jesus Christ. It is one of the subjects that no matter how much I study it, I am always amazed at how much there is to learn. Because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, I know that I can be a better me every seconds of this mortal life.  From the article there was a verse from Isiah 49:16 that said: "Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. 
It is impressive how our Savior knows each one of us by name. Each one of our life is his reponsibility. He is there waiting for us to lean on him so he can give s rest. He is indeed the biggest proof of love from God.

This is not your burden

    I had one of those weeks where everything started bad and I felt as if the Universe was punishing me. I felt like I deserved all that was happening because I have not been a "good girl" lately. I have not been praying as often as I should, nor reading the scriptures,  or serving others. In general I have been a bad person, one could conclude. I spent monday and tuesday thinking about what I could do to change my situation, but I  failed to come up with a solution. However, on wednesday, the answer came unexpectedly as I sat in my Book of Mormon class. We were dissecting chapter 2 of second Nephi when all of the sudden our professor stop and said something that changed my perspective for good. Something I needed to hear. He told us that we needed to stop beating ourselves for being bad people. He said that we needed to remember that we have been living in our physical bodies for has long as we are alive but have been spiritual beings for eternities. So maybe we had a decade of bad in us but we have eternities of good and us, so we should not let the bad have more importance than the good.When he said that, my heart felt so calm because I knew that it was the Lord's words of comfort to me, his dearest daughter. It made me think of my Savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice for me, and of course one of the scriptures that I used to read over and over on my mission came to me. Doctrine and Covenants 19:16-18: 
For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

 17 But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; 18 Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink— I decided that from now on , I was going to let Jesus Christ take care of it all. All I needed to do was repent , start again and let my Savior Jesus Christ take care of the rest. After all, I will never be able to carry my own burdens without his intercession. I am grateful for the atonement of my Savior that I can use in times of trials, happiness, sadness, etc... It is the force through which I can be a better Dhina every day, every hour, every minute and every second of my life. I know that my Savior lives and loves me more than I can comprehend.